Chapter 13: Warmth

Pan Yu shook her head. "Brother Hanwen, you were bold, brave, and incredibly resourceful. I, Mingyu, admire you more than words can say."

Xu Xian lowered his head, suppressing his anger. "And yet I feel like a fool. With your level of martial arts, there was no need for me to meddle. Your decision to hide was nothing more than a test! Pan Yu, it seems we are not of the same mind after all. Once we return, I'm changing bunks!"

He had risked his life to save someone, only to find out they were playing games with him. How could he not be furious? He could see now that Pan Yu’s guile was far too deep; they were completely different types of people.

Pan Yu stepped forward to stand shoulder-to-shoulder with Xu Xian. She took a deep breath and said, "Back at the tavern, I was going to act, but you beat me to it. In the woods, I tried to speak, but you ran off. I do know martial arts, but my training is incomplete. My techniques are meant to kill; I didn't want to take a life, which is why I never showed them. I wasn't intentionally hiding it to make a joke of you. If I have offended you, please forgive me."

Xu Xian knew there were plenty of holes in that explanation. He wanted to argue, but seeing the genuine apology in those bright, crystalline eyes, he softened. He remembered the whole mess had started because of him anyway, and in the end, it was Pan Yu who had saved him.

He sighed. "Forget it, forget it."

Just as he turned to leave, a figure flashed before him. Pan Yu blocked his path. "I've already apologized. Now it's your turn, Hanwen."

Xu Xian pointed at his own nose in surprise. "Me? What do I have to apologize for?" He felt that even if his actions hadn't been perfect today, his conscience was clear.

Pan Yu smiled and held up two fingers as slender as jade carvings. "You insulted me twice. Once as an 'idiot' and once as a 'fool.' You were wrong to say those things, so you owe me an apology."

Xu Xian gave a wry smile. "You certainly have a sharp memory. Fine, my mistake."

He started walking toward the academy, but Pan Yu stood her ground, shaking her head. "No sincerity. That doesn't count." She showed no intention of moving.

Xu Xian could only chuckle bitterly. Seeing how serious Pan Yu looked, he straightened his robes and bowed with folded hands. "Xu Xian caused much offense today. I hope Young Master Pan can find it in his heart to forgive me."

Pan Yu nodded slightly. "To recognize one's faults and change is the greatest virtue. You are a teachable student indeed." A playful, teasing smile tugged at the corners of her mouth.

Looking at that exquisite, smiling face, Xu Xian found it impossible to stay angry.

Just then, a man stepped out from the gates. "Why are you two young masters back so late?" As he stepped under the lantern light, it was the old gatekeeper, his face showing a hint of dissatisfaction.

Pan Yu turned back with an apologetic look. "Uncle Wu, we lost track of time today, I'm so sorry... How is your rheumatism? I brought some medicinal wine back from Jiangbei this time..."

As she spoke, she secretly tugged on Xu Xian's sleeve, and the two of them slipped into the academy.

Xu Xian watched as Pan Yu chatted about everything under the sun, coaxing the illiterate old man until he was beaming with joy. By the time they left, the old man was practically begging to chat more about this year's harvest, his dissatisfaction completely vanished.

Xu Xian sighed inwardly: No matter the time or place, people like this are best suited for the mundane world! He believed that even if Pan Yu were a transmigrator in the modern era, she would surely achieve great things. She wasn't like him; the moment he transmigrated as Xu Xian, all he thought about was how to live off Lady Bai. The gap between them was truly immense.

But could he really get along with such a "perfect" man?

Returning to their room, they washed up briefly and went to bed. Their beds were in the same inner room, facing each other with a round table in between.

Since leaving the old gatekeeper, Pan Yu had become silent again, as if the person talking earlier had been someone else entirely. Xu Xian didn't know what to say either, so they both lay in silence.

Eventually, the sound of the night watchman's clapper echoed from outside. Dong! — Dong! Dong! One slow, two fast. It was already the third watch.

"Hanwen, are you asleep?" Pan Yu’s voice suddenly drifted through the darkness, clear and devoid of any sleepiness.

"Hmm?" Xu Xian wasn't asleep either.

"Today was actually quite interesting. Let's go out again next time!" The voice from the dark was full of genuine interest. Xu Xian turned his head toward Pan Yu’s bed. By the moonlight filtering through the window paper, he could vaguely see a silhouette, though her expression remained hidden.

"Hmm? Oh, sure!" Xu Xian agreed.

Killing without hesitation, without mercy—though Xu Xian didn't pity those bandits, Pan Yu’s casual attitude toward it still left a bitter taste in his mouth. Yet, he felt that Pan Yu treated him differently than others. At first, she had played the role of a refined gentleman like jade, but later, she had dropped the mask. She was no longer "perfect," but she was much more natural and sincere.

It was this natural, sincere attitude that made it impossible for him to refuse her. Xu Xian smiled bitterly; perhaps this was the highest level of social grace—making everyone feel as though they were special in your eyes, winning them over, and building a massive network of relationships.

In the haze between wakefulness and sleep, Pan Yu found herself standing before a grand estate. The vermilion doors were studded with forty-nine gold bosses, and a green plaque bore the words "Pan Residence" in large characters. She crossed the high threshold and rounded a large spirit wall. The noise inside was like another world; servants hurried back and forth, their faces blurred, but all appeared restless and anxious. Pan Yu walked through without anyone stopping her until she reached the inner courtyard. She passed the garden and a strange rockery.

In an elegant courtyard, the doors were tightly shut despite it being daytime. From inside came the groans and cries of a woman in labor. A middle-aged man paced anxiously in front of the door, completely oblivious to Pan Yu’s presence. Pan Yu felt the scene was vaguely familiar, yet she was certain she had never seen it before.

Then, the wail of an infant rang out.

The man’s anxiety vanished, replaced by a hopeful joy that was quickly shadowed by doubt. He asked repeatedly, "Is it a boy or a girl?"

A voice came from nowhere: "Congratulations, Master! It is a young lady."

The man’s face fell instantly. He looked at the child in his arms and then up at the sky, his eyes filled with despair. "Heaven, oh Heaven! Do you truly wish for me, Pan Zhang, to have no heir?" Pan Yu watched blankly, feeling the man's despair reach the very bottom of her heart.

The scene shifted. The infant had grown into a child who could run around, but was always dressed as a boy. The child was so handsome it was impossible to tell if they were a "golden boy" or a "jade girl." On the steps, the man’s face had begun to age. He watched the child below, his expression a mix of worry and joy.

Suddenly, an old nun walked in and bowed. "Sir, I have a predestined bond with this child. May I take her as my disciple?"

While the man wondered how the old nun had entered, the playing child spoke in a childish voice, "I want to stay with Father."

The old nun’s withered lips curled into a slight smile. "Buddha is merciful. Without small affections, there can be no great love." She looked at the man’s face, her eyes seemingly clouded with mist as if she could see through the past and future. "I already know what is on your mind, sir. If you are willing to make a vow, I can ensure your heart's desire is fulfilled."

The man had wanted to have the "mad nun" thrown out, but in his daze, he didn't want to let go of even a shred of hope.

The old nun took out a small, crystal-like object and spoke to the oblivious child. "This is a fragment of the Yin-Yang Mirror. As long as she carries it, no one will be able to see through her true form. She will forever be a man."

The man was overjoyed. Trembling, he took the fragment and said respectfully, "Thank you, Great Master! Thank you! But Master... Yu'er is a girl after all. No matter how real the illusion, she cannot carry on the Pan family line."

The nun replied, "As long as you do not forget our agreement today, once the child is grown, I will have a miraculous method."

The man agreed immediately, ecstatic.

After the nun left, he hoisted the child high and shouted, "I, Pan Zhang, finally have an heir!" The child didn't understand what was happening, but having never seen their father so happy, they laughed along.

Pan Yu watched from the side and smiled, but at some point, tears had filled her eyes.

The news that the Pan Residence had an heir spread quickly. "Wasn't it said to be a girl?" "Master Pan was just afraid of a premature death, so he said that on purpose." "He truly deceived the heavens to cross the sea."

Meanwhile, the wet nurse and the midwife had already "passed away from illness."

The child grew. Though still so beautiful that gender was hard to discern, a visible Adam's apple and a certain tone of voice were enough to dispel any suspicious looks. How could a mortal see through a celestial treasure?

In the Pan family ancestral hall, one large figure knelt while one small figure stood.

"You are a man. You must be bold and strong."

"Yes, Father. I understand." The child was eight or nine years old, wiping away tears. From then on, not another drop was shed.

"You are a man. You cannot harbor womanly compassion."

"Yes, Father." The child was twelve or thirteen. The little maid who had served him for years had vanished forever the day before, simply because she had discovered the secret. From that day on, he never allowed another maid near him.

"You are a man. You must have ambitions that span a thousand miles."

"Yes, Father." The child was fourteen or fifteen, well-versed in literature and already famous as a scholar.

"You are a man... You are a man..."

"Yes... Yes... Yes..."

Pan Yu stood to the side and watched. The scenes were so familiar, yet no one looked at her. Whether it was the aging man or the growing child, everyone seemed to have forgotten her. She was abandoned in this unknown corner, and a great panic began to rise in her calm heart. She screamed and waved her hands desperately, but still, no one saw her.

Suddenly, a rough yet warm hand grabbed hers. Pan Yu turned back in surprise to see an old face looking at her, saying faintly, "You must not fall in love."

Pan Yu bolted upright from the darkness, only then realizing it had been a dream. The images from the dream began to fade, leaving only the nun’s warning ringing clearly in her ears. She felt her thin undershirt soaked with sweat, her body cold and damp. Trembling, she touched her chest; the crystal fragment was still there, and she felt a slight relief. Yet, she remained as cold as water, as if she could never be warmed.

Turning her head, she saw Xu Xian still lying on his bed, seemingly unaware. Pan Yu stared for a while, and a faint warmth rose in her heart, gradually calming her down. She got out of bed and pushed open the window. The moonlight was cold and clear, filling her embrace. Does the moon in the sky have a heart? And if so, who could ever understand it?

Amidst this lost melancholy, a surge of resolve suddenly rose in Pan Yu’s heart. She had studied martial arts and literature since childhood; no matter how difficult things became, she never gave up. This great perseverance and extraordinary talent meant that she succeeded in everything she did. This had built a deep self-confidence: as long as she was willing to put in the effort, nothing was impossible.

Compared to the various hardships she had endured since childhood, what did a mere Xu Xian matter? She would simply cultivate a good relationship with him to build a foundation for her future career—at most, they would just be friends. As a "man," one should have a few close friends anyway. This Xu Xian was simply a test from the heavens!

Having settled Xu Xian's place in her heart, Pan Yu breathed a sigh of relief and returned to being the flawless Young Master Mingyu. Composing her emotions, she closed the window and returned to bed. As she lay down, she unconsciously faced outward. Drowsiness took over, her various emotions becoming indistinguishable as she drifted slowly into a dream.

Xu Xian, of course, had no way of knowing any of this. He was simply practicing the cultivation method the Taoist had taught him. If one possessed spiritual eyes, they would likely see a sphere of golden light in Xu Xian's chest, radiating like a Sun Star.

This sphere of light illuminated the entire room. Though it remained pitch black to ordinary eyes, the crystal fragment hanging from Pan Yu’s neck reflected a faint shimmer in this light. The fragment, which was supposed to be forever icy, began to hold a hint of warmth.